For all you wannabes who feel compelled to write the next great American novel at the already crowded Starbucks, I hope you spill a venti drip on your laptop. Then I hope someone accidentally dumps green tea on your Dockers, making you look like you have a seriously leaky crotch. Do you really need to bang away at your masterpiece with all these caffeinated people buzzing around you? Or do you just like the idea of people looking at you writing? Either way I think you should just take your third grade writing, designer distressed jeans and knit cap and make some space for people who just want to enjoy their coffee and muffin and then leave. At the very least, I think there should be a law that states if you really need to write in a coffee house, you can only stay for as long as your battery lasts. I do not want to have to walk over your extension cord, charger and personal mini frig.
Why don't you just fast forward to the highlight of yor day and go back to your parents garage or basement and pleasure yourself silly.
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