All Roads Lead...to Gridlock

There is a brief scene in the movie "LA Confidential" where you see an ad that people would have seen decades ago when the great promise of the 10 freeway was being completed all the way to the sea. It is funny to think that at one time in Los Angeles people actually could drive the 25 miles from Pasadena to the ocean in less than two and a half hours. (This includes finding a decent parking spot, walking the 10 blocks to the beach and then actually sitting your ass down on the sand).

There have been many complaints about LA traffic. It is an obvious punching bag of a topic. What really gets me steamed however, is whenever I hear our esteemed Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa mention the "Subway to the Sea".

This is another one of those phrases that politicians develop to toss out whenever they need to throw citizens off their scent and dodge questions that beg for a credible action plan. I am all for big picture visions and grand ideas that benefit the community in the long term. Too many instant gratifications have screwed us in the past. However, there is another category of ideas that seem to permeate political agendas all too often. No one will argue it would be great to have:

• Peace in the Middle East
• Cleaner Environment
• Better Educated Children
• Longer, more Satisfying Love-Making
  

The problem is explaining WHAT this really means to them AND coming to some sensible action plan that leaves a trail of measurable progress. If the idea is so noble it seems you politicians are immune from progress reports. Who would argue clean water is bad? It is like when someone asks a presidential candidate what they stand for, they respond, "I stand for the American people working hard and trying to raise their children in a better world." REALLY? Wow, that tells me a lot about WHAT you will be accomplishing in the next four years and HOW you will REALLY be spending you working hours.

So hey Mayor, WHEN will we actually be riding this train to the beach? I understand you are actively pursuing funding or some some other nondescript language that allows you to talk about this like it is a serious topic for you without any of the responsibility for coming up with specifics for people to sink their teeth into. Shame on you for even bringing this up without any sense of irony when you utter the words "Subway to the Sea".

I would prefer you work on a smaller, more ascertainable goal like reducing traffic by let's say 5% instead of having it creep higher every year. I'm sure during your year fling with that Telemundo reporter you had to cut your day early so you can drive over to her place and then be home on time to your loving wife.

http://www.tmz.com/2007/08/10/the-mayor-and-mirthala-step-out/

Coffee House A-Holes

For all you wannabes who feel compelled to write the next great American novel at the already crowded Starbucks, I hope you spill a venti drip on your laptop. Then I hope someone accidentally dumps green tea on your Dockers, making you look like you have a seriously leaky crotch. Do you really need to bang away at your masterpiece with all these caffeinated people buzzing around you? Or do you just like the idea of people looking at you writing? Either way I think you should just take your third grade writing, designer distressed jeans and knit cap and make some space for people who just want to enjoy their coffee and muffin and then leave. At the very least, I think there should be a law that states if you really need to write in a coffee house, you can only stay for as long as your battery lasts. I do not want to have to walk over your extension cord, charger and personal mini frig.

Why don't you just fast forward to the highlight of yor day and go back to your parents garage or basement and pleasure yourself silly.